so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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