What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
