One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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