dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
