my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
