dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
