that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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