What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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