He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
