he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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