he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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