plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
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found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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