I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
