I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Boobs speak an international language.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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