Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
