she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
