addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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