he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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