ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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