people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
