do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf