Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon