We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
