I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize