no. you can't hotbox the world.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
