i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
