you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hippo gnu deer
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
