Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The air was thick with penises
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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