Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize