She's JV to your varsity
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
And then he peed in my hair
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