I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize