i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
