Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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