Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
