I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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