I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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