I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
accomplished twins. life is a go
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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