It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
