Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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