And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
