She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
