Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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