VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
