I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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