Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
