Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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