So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
