Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize