The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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