i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
