but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
