I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
