Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
