Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
