if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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